Disillusioned
by Spunky0ne
Summary: When Byakuya arrives for a surprise visit on Christmas Eve and offers Aizen Sousuke respite from his loneliness, the hougyoku gives them an unexpected gift in return.


**Disillusioned**

**By Spunky0ne**

**(A Christmas gift for Sariniste, the most devoted Aizenfan I've met! And to all Aizenfans! Enjoy, and have a lovely Christmas and Happy New Year. Spunky love ya!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Visitor for you," the Muken guard said gruffly, turning on the light as a warmly cloaked and hooded figure entered Aizen Sousuke's cell.

"Oh?" the prisoner mused, blinking his one uncovered eye, "But who is this?"

He watched curiously as slender, pale hands reached up to lay back the hood, revealing a lovely and familiar male face, smoky gray eyes and silky raven hair.

"Byakuya?" he queried, now even more curious as he studied the noble's serious expression, "You have come to visit me? And on Christmas Eve? I would think that one such as yourself would have much better things to do on a lovely night like tonight, so why have you left your family and come here to see me?"

"It is a family tradition," the gray-eyed beauty explained, "to show our gratitude for what we have been given, by going out on Christmas Eve after our own celebrations and sharing the holiday spirit with the person who seems to us to need it most. And of all of the souls in Soul Society and the living world, I could think of no soul as lonely and forgotten by everyone as you."

"Is that so?" Aizen asked, blinking slowly again, "Well, then I suppose I should consider myself very lucky. Considering that, on any other day, you would probably be happy to think of me spending my empty days and nights here, while you and your loved ones dwell in your warm, comfortable homes, dining on fine cuisine and sharing each others' fine company. I wonder that the thought of me would ever occur to you. That is a very curious thing. But I see that you have not come empty handed. What is in that pack you are carrying?"

The noble set the pack down on the table in front of Aizen and began to remove its contents, revealing two plates of steaming food, two fine, crystal glasses and a bottle of wine and what looked to be pie for dessert.

"Oh, that looks wonderful," Aizen remarked, his lips curing upward, "But how will I eat, Byakuya? My hands are securely bound."

"A special barrier has been set in place for the duration of our visit," the noble informed him, moving forward to remove his bonds.

Several minutes later, released of the leather straps, Aizen stretched languidly, breathing in the lovely smell of the food and enjoying the even more enchanting sight of Byakuya, dressed in a fine, red and black kimono and pouring wine into the crystal glasses.

"Why, it almost feels like old times," Aizen mused, watching the noble closely as he settled into a seat on the other side of the table and began to address his meal, "You remember the lovely winter festivities we used to enjoy as taichous? I believe that my favorites were always the ones that you hosted at Kuchiki Manor. I heard it was damaged quite badly in the recent conflict with the quincies. And I heard also that you took quite some damage, yourself. I am glad to see that you have been returned to good health."

"Is that so?" the noble asked, looking surprised, "I was under the impression you despised me."

"No, I do not," Aizen said, his eyes devouring the sight of Byakuya's pretty lips as they closed around a morsel of hot food.

"Then why did you use my sister, Rukia in your plans?" Byakuya asked quietly, "And why did you seem to take such pleasure in setting Abarai Renji against me, his own taichou?"

"Hmmm," mused the traitor, regarding the noble with a gaze that was oddly sympathetic, "I wondered if it would ever occur to you to ask that question. And it is not surprising that you came to the conclusion that I must have targeted you for some reason. Perhaps I did, but if I did, it was not for the reason that you think."

"How would you know what I think?" Byakuya asked, meeting the prisoner's narrowed, brown eyes for a moment, "One such as yourself hardly seems the type to trouble himself with the thoughts of his victims."

"Is that what you are?" Aizen asked, sipping slowly at the wine, "Are you one of my victims, Byakuya?"

"You pretended to be a comrade, even a friend," the noble answered softly, "You came into my home, partook of meals with me. You fought alongside me. Indeed I remember confiding in you after my father died. It was you who comforted me the most when you said that you understood the cost that being noble exacted on us, especially those of us who were kind and too gentle for our own good. You said that it was sad, and that with such a beauty as he was and so gifted in the arts and in connecting with people, he should never have been sent out onto the battlefield."

"It was true," Aizen said, with a very unnatural reverence in his voice, "Kuchiki Soujun should have been free to follow his heart."

"But he was heir," Byakuya said solemnly, "He knew what was expected of him."

"And he followed that course faithfully, even though it led to his death. I was hoping, Byakuya, that you would be wiser."

"I am not the man my father was," the noble said, frowning and taking a deep swallow of wine, "I achieved a level of power that he did not."

"And yet your heart is no more in what you do than his was," Aizen said, making Byakuya's eyes widen in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked, taking another bite of food, "I am completely committed to upholding the laws and traditions that our family has safeguarded throughout the history of Soul Society."

"Yes," Aizen said sedately, "You have shown beyond question that there is nothing that you would not do to support and defend the laws and traditions of Soul Society."

"And you mocked my devotion to the law by manipulating it, by using it to turn me against my own sister, my own fukutaichou..."

"And you wonder why, do you?" Aizen sighed, "Someone had to cure you of your naiveté, Byakuya. It was a crime for your father to throw his life away. When you were younger, before they clouded your mind with their foolishness, you knew that. It was only as you absorbed their lies and misdirections that you, like your father, were led astray."

"You are a fine one to speak to me of being led astray, Aizen Sousuke," Byakuya commented, sipping at his wine again, "You claim that my father and I were led astray in learning to put the well being of our clan above our own desires. You stole the dreams and desires of everyone around you who you used to vault your way into kingship. It is just good that Kurosaki Ichigo and Urahara Kisuke were able to stop you before you succeeded in reaching him."

"Otherwise what?" Aizen asked pointedly, "Are you thinking that I would have done worse to you than he did, Byakuya?"

"I don't understand," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "What exactly are you saying? His Majesty grants the nobles privilege and honors above all others..."

"In return for stealing away the right for you to make your own decisions."

"He asks our obedience of necessity."

"To protect his own place above you," Aizen said, savoring his wine, "Doesn't it make sense for him to make sure he has the most powerful people in the palm of his hand, whether or not he can squash them? And that business about not mixing with commoners."

"It is to preserve..."

"The power he rests in the blood of your kin. I know," Aizen sighed, "To keep to a minimum the number of people like me who crawl out of the muck and actually develop strong powers. Did you ever ask why that was, Byakuya? You don't need to answer. I know you wouldn't. You have been trained very well by people you trust, ne? People you loved and trusted who told you that giving up your free will was right, and that following a god you had to protect was understandable. I say it is a travesty, Byakuya. No soul should have to defend a god that should be stronger than he is!"

Byakuya paused, studying the righteous anger that had surfaced in the other man's eyes. Then, he sighed softly and took another sip of wine.

"I heard that you were taken to the royal realm to be healed," Aizen said, more softly, "You...met him, then?"

"Yes."

"And you realized how vulnerable he is?"

"I did."

"And you have no problem laying down your life to protect a weakling like that? A soul that cannot protect himself and must surround himself with those guardsmen? One who touts free will and choice, yet selfishly steals the same away from his most capable servants? I assure you, I would never do such unforgivable things! If I was king, there wouldn't need to be guardsmen or nobles, Byakuya. Do you know why?"

"Why?" Byakuya asked softly, his dark eyes fixed on Aizen's and his slender hand gripping his wine glass tightly.

"Because if I was your god, I would be godly enough to keep my place without all of that. A god should be able to stand up against all threats and safeguard the way for others to express themselves freely. Your father _died_ for a god that couldn't protect himself, let alone anyone else, Byakuya. And you would die for him too. It made me angry. _Furious_."

Byakuya went silent for a time, finishing the last few bites of his meal, then setting their used dishes back in the pack he had brought. He refilled their wine glasses and laid out the dessert, his mind still digesting the other man's words.

"Aizen Sousuke," he said quietly, "The way you speak makes it sound as though there was a time when you genuinely cared about what happened to my father...about what happened to me. Are you telling me that...?"

"What do you mean, I _cared_?" Aizen asked, moving closer and capturing Byakuya's hand as the noble stared at him in surprise, "What makes you think I ever stopped caring, or being furious about what they did to Soujun...about what they did to you?"

"What about what _you_ did to me?" Byakuya asked, his eyes radiating sadness, "I will admit that I looked up to you...that I felt drawn to you and trusted the things you told me. I thought all along that you cared. But you turned on me and used Rukia and me, as though I had never meant a thing to you."

"And you wonder why?"

"Sometimes," Byakuya confessed, lowering his eyes.

"Well," Aizen said, squeezing his hand and making their eyes meet again, "That is all over and you have your revenge, don't you? You are out there, enjoying your nice, orderly life, while I am in this cell, bound and alone, except for tonight, of course. Oh, and since I haven't said it already, arigatou, for the relief from the bindings and for the fine meal and company. It was kind of you."

"I do not require your gratitude," Byakuya answered solemnly, "As I told you, I was only carrying out the tradition..."

"Of bringing cheer to the less fortunate. Yes. Well, then, let me offer you something in return, ne?"

He brought Byakuya's hand to his chest, making the noble's dark eyes widen in dismay as Byakuya tried to pull his hand away.

"What are you doing? Let go!" Byakuya demanded.

"Oh no," Aizen said sedately, "I don't think so. One good turn deserves another. Isn't that how the saying goes, my old comrade?"

"Stop this! Let me go!" Byakuya gasped, freezing as his fingers came into contact with the crystal that was embedded in Aizen's chest, and a calm, male voice spoke into his mind.

_Kuchiki Byakuya, welcome._

"The hougyoku knows your wishes and desires," Aizen said softly, his dark eyes enslaving Byakuya's and holding the stunned noble in place, "And although, being under the seal, it hasn't the power to transform you as it did me, still its innate power radiates, affecting all around it. You don't even need to think consciously about what you desire. It knows and it will act accordingly. I think that the least I can do, as you have come to me and given me a night away from the dreariness of my incarceration, is to afford you a single wish. So, what will that wish be, Byakuya?"

"Huh," the noble huffed, unable to tear his hand away from the cool surface of the orb, "That is easy. I want you to no longer be immortal, so that I can make you pay for hurting my sister, my fukutaichou, my comrades and me!"

"Ah," Aizen said, nodding, "Certainly, you do passionately want revenge. But it is not the deepest desire of your heart. There is a deeper desire, one that the hougyoku will grant you, if you but think of it and will it."

He thought for a moment and smiled.

"Close your eyes for a moment," he suggested.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

"Do you think I am stupid?" he asked coldly, "I dare not take my eyes off of you for a moment. Who knows what foul thing you would do to me before the guards could even reach us to stop you."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Aizen assured him, "If I was of a mind to hurt you, Byakuya, you would already be lying on the floor, at my feet. I don't want to hurt you. I am grateful that you have come to see me. I only mean to offer you something in return for showing me this kindness."

"I wouldn't trust any gift that came from you!" the noble exclaimed, "Nor would I ever trust your word again on anything!"

"Of course not," Aizen said approvingly, "You have become very wise, haven't you? You have learned from my betrayal, what a foolish thing it is to give your trust to another person. It is much safer to trust no one. People you trust will only disappoint you."

"That is not true," Byakuya answered, his lips stiffening, "I have never been disappointed in my grandfather, in my father. The ones I trust..."

"Disappoint you all of the time," Aizen finished, making Byakuya blink in surprise, "Your father set a beautiful example of grace and sacrifice, and your grandfather drove the lesson home. Those loving people taught you to deny your desires, to force down the will to choose your own path, to set your own destiny. They took away your future to hand you one of their choosing. But it wasn't even theirs, was it?"

"Stop," Byakuya snapped angrily, "I am leaving!"

He tried to draw his hand away, but found, to his surprise, that he couldn't.

"Let me go!" he said, trying again to pull free.

"Don't panic, Byakuya," Aizen said in a voice that sounded reassuring, but felt inexplicably dangerous, "I have no intention of hurting you, but I do want to disillusion you. Close your eyes now. Close your eyes and let your greatest desire rise to the surface. I will name it for you and it will come true. What is the one thing that has eluded you for all of this time, the thing that would mean the most to you right now, if you could have it?"

And even though he still wanted to fight the forces gripping him, Byakuya felt the strongest of his desires rising up and blooming in his stunned mind. And he had to wonder, as Aizen's eyes studied his, if it was really so obvious, if the heart could be seen through the eyes, and maybe that was why he didn't look most people in the eyes.

"There now," Aizen said, more softly, breaking into the odd haze that spun around him, "I see."

_He couldn't know._

_He hasn't any idea._

_No one does._

He wasn't sure when the other man had risen, or when he had moved closer, so that his next words were a warm breath in the noble's flushed ear.

"Do you think I am surprised?" Aizen whispered, "Let me enlighten you. I am not. One lonely, incomplete soul will always know another when he sees it. When I first saw you, all of those years ago, it didn't even take the hougyoku's power to tell me that yours was a lonely soul, Byakuya."

"What do you mean? I am..."

"You are _fine_? Is that what you were going to tell me? It was, wasn't it?"

"You seem very sure of yourself," the noble commented, dryly.

"Come now, it's not hard to see. Your mother died in childbirth and your father when you were but a teen. Your wife was as weak in body as your father, and left you as well. Then, his majesty only waited until you were barely of age to ascend, and he called Ginrei to the royal realm to serve him. By then, your losses had taken such a toll that the fight had gone out of you. You easily gave up on your dreams and took on this lonely life of empty service. But...even though you gave them up, you never forgot them, did you?"

Byakuya's frown deepened, but he said nothing as Aizen's fingertips touched his hair and face very lightly.

"Those dreams were still there, whenever you escaped for a moment to look up at the moon. I saw you moongazing quite often...always with that look on your face that reminded me of the young boy I remembered."

"You speak of that person with near reverence," Byakuya observed solemnly, "And yet, when you set about your plans, you targeted me specifically, using my sister in a plot that was meant to end in her death. How can you claim to have any true feelings for the person I was when you would turn about and do that to me?"

"Don't you understand?" Aizen said, weaving his fingers through the dark, raven strands of the noble's fine hair and watching closely as Byakuya's breath quickened and his eyes widened, "Someone had to put a stop to it...to those illusions you built around yourself. You were so hypocritical, Byakuya, prating about clan pride, duty and honor...obedience. But you only forced yourself to go through the motions. Your heart wasn't in it."

"And so you felt the need to punish me?"

"Not to punish you, no," Aizen said, shaking his head, "I wanted to open your eyes. And once they were opened, you were free to choose whatever path you wanted."

"And I chose to follow the path that brought you here."

"But," Aizen added, moving his lips closer to the noble's, "you also took the path that led you here, tonight."

"Only to offer you..."

"A respite from my loneliness, yes, I know," Aizen whispered, closing in on the still stunned noble's lips, "And I will offer you the same, if you will choose it. Be with me. It has been too long since I have been loved."

"But I don't love you," Byakuya objected, turning his lovely face away, "I despise you!"

"You don't despise me," Aizen corrected him, "You hate what I've done. And I have done some reprehensible things, yes. But right now, each of us has something that the other needs. You took away the emptiness around me, and now I will do the same for you."

"Why?" Byakuya demanded, his voice sounding almost feverish, "What do you want from me?"

He went still again, staring as Aizen's fingers brushed against his lips, and he felt a longing throb in his slender belly and soft loins. And sensing that his resistance had begun to crumble, the former taichou surged forward, holding Byakuya's hand to the hougyoku and plundering his frowning mouth forcefully. Byakuya's eyes closed tightly, and his hand wrapped around the other man's wrist, trying to pull himself free. But as the savage kiss deepened, and the heady throbs of arousal enveloped his mind, he felt as though starving for those kisses, and met them hungrily.

_Kuchiki Byakuya, _the hougyoku whispered into his reeling mind, _you long to continue your father's legacy. Ever since his death, it has been a weight you have carried...wanting to do right by him, but failing when your wife proved too weak, and she died. But I can make sure that you do not fail. Open your heart and receive the gift I have for you!_

"N-no!" Byakuya moaned fitfully, struggling beneath Aizen's hands, "You would only use me!"

Aren't you using me too?" Aizen asked quietly, warming his mouth with more penetrating kisses, "You want to continue your father's legacy and I want an end to my loneliness."

"I want more than just continuance!" Byakuya gasped, trying to escape Aizen's lips, only to be recaptured and pleasured shamelessly with them.

_Yes,_ agreed the hougyoku, _You want power in your progeny, to protect him or her from all evil, so that you will not lose them. And you need a strong lover._

"I do not want another lover!" Byakuya hissed, almost pleadingly.

"I know," Aizen breathed, between dominating kisses, "Losing Hisana was almost the end of you. But you needn't waste your love, nor your worries on me, Byakuya. I am immortal. I will not die, even though you want me to with all of your heart."

"N-no!" Byakuya gasped, making Aizen pause and gaze at him in surprise.

"But you said before..."

"No, I know...but I did not mean it. I was angry because of your betrayal. I never really wanted you to die. I think that I just...wanted that person you were with me before to be real. You comforted me through a difficult time. And now, I would comfort you. I will...come to you again if you wish it."

Aizen captured the noble's pretty, tormented face in his hands and smiled down at him.

"I would like that," he said, tracing Byakuya's fine lips with his fingertips.

His lips followed the path of his fingers, recapturing the noble's and plundering them shamelessly. He sighed in contentment as the resistance in Byakuya's slender body gave way and began to move against his. The noble slid onto his lap, letting the kimono slide upward and baring himself beneath it. Aizen's hands moved to prepare him, but Byakuya surged forward and brought their bodies together roughly, stifling a pained cry as they were suddenly joined. Byakuya buried his face in Aizen's strong shoulder, biting down and moaning heatedly as the prisoner's hands slid down his back, encouraging the hard, fast motion of his thrusting hips. The fingers of one hand sank into the noble's fine hair and pulled his head back slightly, opening him up to another assault of biting kisses. Byakuya could no longer think about the recklessness of what he was doing, about the other man's crimes, or any of the reasons he would never have done what he was in the midst of doing.

_I just need that person that he was for me when my father died and I sought comfort. And if he can only be that person again for a moment, then I will take that moment. And the child that comes to carry on my father's legacy and mine...will also bring back that calm, gentle person I knew. The Aizen taichou I secretly loved..._

_Was that, perhaps, my desire all along? To feel that person again? To hold him in my arms? To tell him what he meant to me? So much that I would do this to just see him again...that I would..._

"Byakuya, I loved you too."

Byakuya stiffened with the words, gasping as climax overtook him, reducing him to panting softly against Aizen's sweating shoulder as the prisoner was also overcome.

"I loved you the way you were back then," Aizen went on, holding Byakuya tightly and pressing his cheek to the noble's, "You were young and fiery. You were rebellious and honest with your feelings. I could have killed them all for what they did to you. And when you changed to suit them, I couldn't stand it. But I understand now. You didn't really disappear. You are still like that inside, and you will pass that on to the one who comes after you."

Byakuya rested calmly against Aizen, his eyes closed and his body humming with deep contentment. And inside him, he could already feel the hands of his fate shifting.

"So...you want me to come back to you?" he asked softly.

"Yes," Aizen answered, "I want you to come back. And each time we are together, I want you to look at me with these eyes that love me. I haven't seen those eyes for a long time, Byakuya. I didn't know if I would ever see them again. Thank you for coming to me...for giving me this shelter from my loneliness."

"Thank you," Byakuya whispered, seeking his lips again, "for entrusting even this small bit of your heart...to me."


End file.
